Travel Series #1: That Time I Went to Ireland

First of all, I fully acknowledge that this post is coming at you a good four months late, but I figure, better late than never! I don't know what it is, but I'm having the hardest time sitting down and blogging, no matter how times I promise you that I will be better about it! That being said, I am snuggling up and getting cozy in my local Pret A Manger, ready to tap furiously on this poor keyboard of mine until I have a post or two ready to go!

Also note, this post is about to get real photo heavy, so be ready!









Anyway. So, Ireland! I was there for a solid ten days over the holidays this year, visiting my best friend, braving the bitter temperatures, and drinking more beer than I probably have collectively in my entire life (which isn't actually saying much, to be fair).

I would also like to point out, they have Pop Tarts in Dublin. At almost 7 euros a box (of four), they were no bargain, but I was still happy to have that taste of home.

My aforementioned best friend, Kasey, is currently living in Dublin, which is where I spent most of my time while I was there. We did plenty of exploring in the city, that is, when things were open and operating. Since I was there over Christmas and New Years, and this is Europe, a lot of things were closed for the holidays. So while I did manage to see and experience quite a bit of Dublin and Irish culture, there was also a good amount of chill time on the docket during this trip. I gotta say, I didn't mind one bit. Especially given the gloomy skies and freezing temperatures!











When we did get out and about, we spent our time wandering around Dublin, eating and drinking our way through several cafes and bars, and doing a few touristy things here and there, like the Jameson Distillery Tour! Since I had been to Dublin before, I didn't feel the need to go crazy trying to fit in all the tourist attractions. I had managed to see a lot of those things the last time, so this time was more about being with my friend for the holidays and enjoying a much needed respite from Paris. I think the thing that stuck out to me the most was how colorful people had made the city, despite the gray stone buildings and the even grayer sky.











Christmas Day was very chill and casual for us. We spent most of the day hanging out at Kasey's apartment, where I put a lovely virtual Christmas scene on my iPad, complete with twinkling tree and crackling fire. One of Kasey's friends joined us and we ate food, drank gin and tonics, and had good conversation over knitting (as we do). In the evening, we went into the city for Chinese food and a very holiday-themed photoshoot in the street that very nicely featured my ugly Christmas sweater. It was probably the least traditional Christmas I've ever had, but it was exactly what I think we all needed, being away from home and family for the holidays.





New Year's Eve was also particularly calm, as Kasey and I headed to a local pub and rang in the New Year with some whiskey and good wishes for the year to come. New Years Day, the entire city was practically deserted, and we walked the entire city just looking for food. We finally found a fish and chips joint that was open and that was our first real meal of 2019!



The other big highlight of my time in Ireland was our road trip out to the Rock of Cashel. We took a whole day, braved the wrong side of the road, and made the trip out to the beautiful, gigantic, slightly eerie castle. The fog that settled over the Irish hills and clouded the tiny town surrounding the area made it feel like there just might have been spirits among us. What was left of the place was mighty, intimidating, and gave the impression of strength, despite the crumbling walls. The graves outside the main structure were stoic, but the sheep in the background made it serene, and there was a deteriorating abbey off in the distance that we managed to explore. We even got to tour the chapel, with its better-preserved frescoes, and learned quite a bit about the whole thing. Did you know that in medieval times, when structures like this were built, the faces of the wealthy who paid for them were literally built into the walls? I would be lying if I said it wasn't creepy to see all these eroding faces staring down at us as we walked through. All in all, though, a great experience that I'm so glad we decided to take the day to do!



























You know, I'm not so upset I waited this long to post this. It's been really great going back and remembering the trip, and looking back through my photos, I'm so happy with how they turned out and how they represent what I saw while I was there. I hope you enjoyed them, as well! Have you visited Ireland? What was your favorite part?

2019 - A Year of Emotional Freedom

And just like that, it's 2019! 2018 was one of those years that was simultaneously so long, but also went by in the blink of an eye. SO much happened in the last year. I moved three times, and one of those times was to Paris. I worked several jobs, met so many people, started some new projects, and went on the most intense emotional roller coaster to date. Sometimes I look back and I can't believe how much stuff happened in a single year... Do you ever feel that way?



So. Resolutions. As is customary, I have spent the last several days pondering my New Years Resolutions and Intentions. (I think I like the word "intentions" better than "resolutions") This year I have decided to do things a little differently. Instead of writing down several lofty goals for myself that seem unachievable, even with all the hope in the world, I am writing down smaller actions that I can implement every day to ultimately help me become a better person throughout the year. And for my couple of really big goals, I've broken them down into manageable bites that will be less overwhelming when I look back at them.

First, I broke my intentions down into categories: healthy habits, spirituality, career, art, writing, organization, and my planner project (I'm designing a planner, if you didn't know!). From there, I wrote down my actions steps. For example, under "healthy habits", I wrote things like "eat out less" and "take supplements daily". Under "art", I wrote "keep Etsy updated" and "use project calendars". Having everything written down this way helps me keep track of things, and lets me see that a lot of what I want to achieve overlaps between categories, like reading more and praying before bed are both habits I want to develop, but they will also help me achieve my "no screen half an hour before bed" goal!

The best part about writing down my intentions this way and seeing it all broken down, it makes me realize that it all serves one ultimate goal: to look back at 2019 with happiness and fulfillment. That is my biggest intention for this year. The last several New Years, I've looked back at the previous year and thought, "WOW that was a rough year". When we ring in 2020, I want to look back and think "WOW that was such a great year!" Even if it didn't always go my way (and let's be real, it won't, cause that's not how life works), I'll at least be able to look back and think "I found happiness. I bettered myself and I grew immensely because of my intentions."

2019 is going to be different for me. This is going to be my Year of Emotional Freedom. I am intentionally letting go of lots of past pain, and embracing everyday joy! I am embracing all the things that make me who I am, even those things that once made me insecure. I am an emotional human, I am passionate about art and pursuing the things that make us happy, contributing to the world, and I care exponentially more about all of those things over making money. No more shame in these traits of mine!

Here is a full list of my 2019 Intentions:

*LOOK BACK WITH HAPPINESS*

*EMOTIONAL FREEDOM*

*HEALTHY HABITS*

- Eat out less

- No screen half an hour before bed

- Take supplements daily

- Develop yoga practice

*SPIRITUALITY*

- Pray before bed

- Wake up to my Bible

- Church at least once a month

- Practice gratitude

*CAREER*

- Focus on getting back on stage

- Read more plays and listen to more soundtracks

- More dance classes

- Restart voice lessons

*ART*

- Keep CranberryInk social media up to date

- Paint at least once per week

- Use project calendars

- Keep Etsy shop updated

*WRITING*

- Journal once per week

- Blog once per week

- Use photography on the blog

- Read more

*ORGANIZATION*

- Project calendars

- Checklists

*PLANNER DESIGN*

- Finish the whole year's design

- Develop marketing strategy

- Product ready to sell by August

- Use social media for self promotion

What are your Resolutions or Intentions for the New Year? Do you feel motivated? What are you embracing or letting go of in 2019?

One Month Lessons

Can you believe it's already been a month since I got here to France?? (It's actually been just over a month, but who's counting?) A lot has happened in that month, and I've learned quite a lot already! Including that public wifi is often unreliable, and therefore it can be difficult to keep up with a blog... My goal for this year was to keep a frequent and thorough account of my experience here on the blog, along with sharing about my creative endeavors and other important (yes, important) musings! Yet, here we are, over a month in, and I can count on one hand how many times I've posted! Well I will tell you all right now, that is about to change, now that I've found a convenient and reliable connection just down the street at good old Pret A Manger. Thank God for international chains, amiright?



Anyway, now for the real meat and potatoes of this post: My One Month Lessons. Here are the things I've learned about France, and life in general, in the last roughly 30 days.

1. 95% of French people smoke. This is not a tried and true statistic, but it is certainly my educated guess. I had forgotten just how common smoking is in France.

2. Believe it or not, there is more puke on the sidewalks and trains here than in NYC. It's disturbing how much I've seen in this short month.

3. It feels VERY strange to brush your teeth and wash your dishes in the same sink. I have one sink in my teeny tiny apartment, so I don't really have a choice but to use it for everything! I gotta say, when you've spent 26 years with different sinks designated for different uses, it's pretty weird to spit your toothpaste into the same sink where you clean your pots and pans.

4. There are dopplegangers of people you know ALL over the world. The amount of people I've seen here who look EXACTLY like people I know back home is astonishing.

5. French people and American people are not on the same level when it comes to personal space. Sometimes I really get the feeling that I am a magnet, and people on the street are pulled towards me, regardless of the amount of empty space on the sidewalk. They don't feel they've gotten close enough until they've shoulder checked me.

6. On that note, I've never been sardined into a subway car like I have been multiple times on the Paris Metro. Things got pretty intimate on the NYC subway, but this is another level of public closeness.

7. For the most part, Parisians are kind, helpful, and understanding. Of course, there are always going to be your stick-in-the-mud waiters and stink-eye-giving shop keepers. But overall, people are willing to give advice, help you figure out what it is you need, and do it with a smile. Even when I stumble over my French, most French people have been patient. (And they appreciate when you are patient and kind and understanding, too!)

8. Americans are INSANELY lucky to have Trader Joe's. You have no idea. Don't take that for granted.

9. If you thought scooters went out of style in the early 2000s, you are mistaken! At least here, everyone uses them for transportation. Some of them are electric, but most of them are the old school push-it-with-your foot sorts. I'm seriously considering getting with the trend. Also, it's somewhat hilarious to see a business man in a three piece suit pushing himself along the sidewalk on a scooter.

10. Americans are, at least by comparison, a very friendly people. As a group, we smile, hug, and laugh a whole heck of a lot, and it gives us away almost immediately.

This is just a sprinkling of the things I've learned. I'll definitely be checking back in with more lessons as time goes. Of course, these are fairly subtle cultural differences. We aren't talking about major lifestyle adjustments. But sometimes it's the little things that add up to be a totally new experience! What sorts of things have you noticed when moving to a new place?

My Tiny Corner of Paris

WOW I can't believe I've been here for over a week already! But also, it feels like I've been here for so much longer. I've been meaning to get on here and update everyone, because I've been getting so many questions via Instagram about where I'm staying and what it's like so far! Plus, last time I was living abroad, I found that keeping my blog was a really great way to document the year and keep track of all the ups and downs and twists and turns! It's always fun looking back on those posts to see how I felt at any given time. Of course, I was also 18 years old at the time, so that makes a big difference, too! It's kind of like looking back through your diaries. There are some things you remember so vividly, others you'd forgotten entirely, and still others that you can't believe were such a big deal at the time. Regardless, it's cool to look back though your own eyes, but at a different stage of your life.







ANYWAY. I arrived in Paris last Tuesday, so I've been here about 9 days. I'm living just west of the actual city of Paris in a town called Neuilly-Sur-Seine. Even though I'm not *technically* in Paris proper, I'm so close I might as well be! It only takes me about fifteen minutes to walk to the Arc de Triomphe, which is at the end of the famed Champs Elysées. From there, the entire city is at my fingertips! Every morning, when I walk to the train, I can see the top portion of the Eiffel Tower in the distance. It's absolutely unreal. Sometimes I feel like I'm floating in a dream, like this can't possibly be real life. But it is and I'm here and it's amazing!









So. Neuilly. It's a really lovely town, and pretty much an extension of Paris. The buildings are all that beautiful, old, classically French architecture. You know, the kind you see in those mass produced prints that you can buy at HomeGoods and Target. Except here, it isn't mass produced, and it's real life! This town has some hustle and bustle, but still feels homey and suburban, to an extent. There are kids rolling along on their skateboards or scooters up and down the sidewalks, lots of little shops selling houseplants or antiques or produce, and plenty of cafes and restaurants. One thing is for sure: the people here have money. You can feel it just walking down the streets and looking up at the residential buildings. Then you see the massive, beautiful schools and there's no doubt. Plus, any time I tell anyone where I'm living, the first thing they always say is "Wow, you're so lucky! That's where the rich people live!" It's true, I do feel very lucky to be here!







A lot of people ask me if the program is providing our housing. Unfortunately not, so we are each responsible for finding our own accommodations for the year. Again, I definitely lucked out. I found my housing before even arriving in Paris, which I suppose is pretty uncommon. I have an arrangement with a family here in Neuilly, where I am essentially nannying for them in exchange for my apartment, which is just three floors above theirs! It's a tiny little studio, but it's so charming and has everything I need, along with a stellar view! I recently found out that these small spaces on the top floors of buildings like this were probably maids' quarters way back when the buildings were constructed. Mine does have it's own bathroom and a little kitchen, complete with a small fridge, microwave and hotplate. It's super simple, but I absolutely love it!







The family is just wonderful. The two parents and three children are all so kind and very welcoming! In the afternoons, I go and pick the youngest one up from school, help her with her homework, and accompany her to her theatre and dance classes (a girl after my own heart!). I speak English with them, so that they can practice and improve their speaking skills. Sometimes I have meals with all of them, which is always a treat! While I am so happy to become a sort of part of the family, it's really nice to be able to have my own space, as well. I had host families when I was an exchange student, and at 26 years old, I am so glad to be able to be autonomous while living in Paris!







Sometimes I really can't believe I'm here. I am so happy to be in Paris, living out this crazy dream. I've fallen in love with this city a couple times before, and I have a feeling I'm about to do it all over again. I am so grateful God brought me here and has had my back as I adjust and settle in. He really is so good! Well, I have so much more to tell you all and I will be writing again soon! Have you lived abroad before? How did it feel at first?

All My Thoughts on Moving to France

I'm still kind of in shock! I cannot believe that in just about six short months, I will picking up to move, yet again. Except this time, I'm moving to France... WUT.



Basically this is how this happened:

Cleveland State University, fall semester 2011. I had just started my college experience. Having just come back from my year abroad in Belgium, I had declared a Theatre major and a French minor. Makes sense, right? Well, upon learning about my exchange experience, my French professors got a jump on recruiting me for the major. One of the major selling points was this awesome program in France where Americans go abroad to help teach English. Of course this sounded like something right up my alley. They impressed on my just how competitive it was, and if I was serious about pursuing something like that, it would be in my best interest to pick up the double major. Well, before I knew it, I had done exactly that. I had a Theatre and French double major. (And as if that wasn't enough, I also went ahead and picked up a Dance minor. But that's besides the point.)

Throughout my entire college career, this Teaching Assistant Program in France (TAPIF) was lingering in the back of my head. Post graduation, I moved to Florida and my priorities shifted. I knew I still wanted to go after this dream, and I knew I was dying to live in France, but it just wasn't the right time. Well, once I made the decision to leave Florida, I figured it was now or never. So, January 2018, I submitted all my application materials. A week ago, I got that long awaited email, congratulating me on my acceptance!



I have a LOT of feelings wrapped around this news. They are overwhelmingly positive, if not a little anxiety-provoking in some cases. My first and most prominent reaction is genuine relief. There have been a lot of decisions that I've been holding off on making, because they relied heavily on the outcome of this application.

The biggest one has definitely been my living situation. For those of you who don't know, in January I moved out of Manhattan to NJ for financial reasons. While I'm extremely grateful for the blessing of having this option available to me, it was difficult and disheartening leaving NYC after only three months (though I still commute into the city several times per week). Although I've been wanting to move back into Manhattan, I've also known that I won't if I get this program. So there has been this back and forth and back and forth in my brain on looking for a place, which is exhausting. It is now a huge weight off my shoulders knowing that I have a definitive answer for where I'll be living for the next six months.

I'm also struggling a little bit with the fact that I'll be leaving New York so soon after arriving... New York has been huge for me. Simply being here means so much, and is a big testament to my faith. New York is a symbol of all the difficulties of the last year and overcoming them. It's what I've been thinking about since I was a little 11-year-old who said she wanted to be an actress. It's been such a long time coming, and it took so much for me to finally get here. As amazing as this new opportunity is, it now feels sort of like I'm abandoning this big huge dream that I've talked about for so long and worked so hard for. Part of me feels guilty about that; like I'm being ungrateful for what I've been given.

Of course, my rational brain knows how silly that is. I have always lived my life, and intend to continue living, by taking hold of the opportunities that come, whenever that may be. What would really be ungrateful would be to turn this down, just for the sake of doing what I think others expect of me and my dedication to my career. I'm not selling out, and I'm not giving up on New York. I'm taking what God is offering me in this moment. NYC will always be here, but this opportunity may not be offered to me again. I have no idea what is going to happen after my program (and I think it's pretty useless to squash the joy of this news by trying, in vain, to figure that out right now), but I know that the option will always remain for me to come back here.



Speaking of my career... This is really a conversation for a whole other post, but, the older I get, the more I contemplate the idea of a "career" and if that's actually something that is important to me. I go back and forth, but I really think that THIS is what's more important: experiencing life and going where the wind takes me, even if that means leading a fairly nomadic life without a "career" guiding it. This decision to go live in France may very well mean that I take a hiatus from training/performing. Part of me is scared that I'll never return to it. If we're being totally real, though, I know that's impossible. I'm drawn to art and culture more than anything else and I don't think I could stay away from it if I tried. I definitely want to continue dancing while I'm there, and who knows what other opportunities will present themselves! Additionally, I've always said that if/when I get the TAPIF, that's when I'll start looking at grad schools, and seriously consider the options in the UK. So there's that!

I really believe that I am being sent to France right now for a reason. And not just for me. I feel like I am about to do some really important work, and I only hope that I'll be able to make a positive impact on the students. I hope that I can impart more knowledge than just English grammar; I hope that I'll be able to share what I've learned about culture and embracing that, about learning about world and exploring what exists beyond your own backyard, and about being grateful for the twists and turns in your life, even when it seems really dark... Not to get super heavy, but I really hope I can be a light for a kid who really needs it.

My light has been out for a while. It flickered back on when I moved to New York and then was quickly extinguished again in the New Year. It hasn't been the easiest transition, or really the easiest year, since leaving Florida. I felt very close to giving up before I got that email. I've been in a creative slump, I've been lonely, and I've been generally discouraged (the job hunt was getting real). Receiving that email, it was truly like a beacon. It's given me something to work towards, something to look forward to, and something to genuinely be excited about! God knew exactly what I needed, and while I thought He had abandoned me, He was just working to create something seriously awesome. What a huge gift and glorious blessing.



I just feel... lighter. I feel good! I haven't felt this motivated or excited about something in a really long time. I feel like the fire inside me is being rekindled and I am on the brink of a period of true fruitfulness. I knew that 2018 would be the year of my Personal Renaissance, I just didn't know that it would look like this!

As far as the things I know... I know that I will be in France for the 2018-19 school year, and I'll be teaching English at a secondary level school (middle to high school ages). I have been assigned to the region of Versailles, which is right outside of PARIS. *Dreams do come true!* I do not know yet exactly which school, nor do I know what my housing situation will be. My departure date has yet to be determined, as well, but I anticipate leaving sometime in September/October.

I am seriously so excited for this next chapter! I love Paris and I love France and I love travel and I can't wait to get back in that place of immersion where you just take it one day at a time and soak it all up. I know I've spoken a lot here about the more serious thoughts I'm having about this TAPIF, but there are so many more light and bouncy ones, too! I'm already making my Paris/France/Europe bucket list for all the things I want to make sure I see and explore while I'm there. I'm sure I'll have lots of musings as the fall approaches, so don't be surprised if it becomes a hot topic around here! To all of you who have reached out with your kind words of congratulations and support, a huge thank you! My joy and gratitude are absolutely overflowing. I better start brushing up on my French!