Sunday Wandering

Paris is a city where it doesn't matter what the weather is doing, it's just always beautiful. Even without the blue skies and sunshine, the buildings still stand tall, bearing the rain as they have for centuries. The river still glimmers, the Tower still sparkles. Paris is never gloomy, it's merely different. I felt a strange comfort walking around in the misty cold rain today. It was as if the city was saying, "Don't worry, I've seen it all before, and I will protect you."







The clouds and puddles make the architecture stand out in a different way. It's been a long time since I've wandered around a city with my camera in hand, just taking in the surroundings. Even so, it was only a matter of time before I began seeing it all in a different way, as if the lens of my camera was calling to me to snap this angle or capture that moment. It's the sort of thing I used to feel all the time when I was living in Belgium. That shift in perspective was oh so welcome. It's the feeling of raw creativity and the desire to grab hold of the beauty all around you and translate it onto an image. I love that feeling and I love the art that comes from it.







It's crazy to me how comfortable I feel here in Paris. There are parts of this city that I know so well, despite only having been here a few times before, and not for very long. However, today, walking along the Seine, with Notre Dame right across the river, it felt so familiar and welcoming. It hasn't even been two weeks since I arrived, but it already feels like home here. Sure, there are things that are still daunting, like the constant striving to speak better French and the overwhelming desire to make the Parisians believe I'm not a tourist (THAT struggle is real), but I don't feel at all out of place in this city. I feel that this is where I'm meant to be.







Today's quest was really to find a good Sunday marché, which led me to a couple different areas of the city, and lots of wandering. I never ended up finding the one I was looking for, but I did stumble upon a great one towards the end of the afternoon, and I also finally made it to Shakespeare and Co! You guys. If you ever come to Paris, DO NOT skip this one! I've been in lots of bookstores. If you know me at all, you know how much I love books (and how much of a problem that is for my wallet). This was one of the coolest, quirkiest bookstores I've ever been in. I'd heard about it several times from many different people, but I had no idea what to expect. I definitely didn't think it would be as cozy as it is! Although it's actually quite large, it feels very intimate because 1) the sheer volume of books that surrounds you at all times, and 2) each of the rooms that makes up the shop is actually quite small, especially with all the people in there. There are lots of little nooks all over the place with lumpy old couches where you can recline with a book, and upstairs is their collection of old books, not to be purchased, but perused there in their library. Just about all the books they carry are in English, and everyone there was speaking English first. I can tell you now, I just know I'll be spending a good bit of my time in that shop. Just being there today, I almost cried several times out of sheer overwhelming joy and comfort. It's a haven. You aren't allowed to take pictures in there, which is why I don't have any of those for you guys, but trust me. I can't believe it took me so long to get there, but now I can't wait to go back! I did purchase one book: "Breakfast at Tiffany's". Because I just had to.







The rest of my time was spent wandering down little alleys and side streets, photographing huge beautiful old doors, and spending a few more euros here and there on antique books, piled high by the vendors at the outdoor marché at Place St Michel. My day was wrapped up sitting in my tiny little apartment, wrapped in my comforter with a takeout pizza and a glass of rosé, because it's a rainy Sunday and what else do you do on rainy Sunday evenings?

Where do you like to wander? Have you ever seen Paris in the rain?

My Tiny Corner of Paris

WOW I can't believe I've been here for over a week already! But also, it feels like I've been here for so much longer. I've been meaning to get on here and update everyone, because I've been getting so many questions via Instagram about where I'm staying and what it's like so far! Plus, last time I was living abroad, I found that keeping my blog was a really great way to document the year and keep track of all the ups and downs and twists and turns! It's always fun looking back on those posts to see how I felt at any given time. Of course, I was also 18 years old at the time, so that makes a big difference, too! It's kind of like looking back through your diaries. There are some things you remember so vividly, others you'd forgotten entirely, and still others that you can't believe were such a big deal at the time. Regardless, it's cool to look back though your own eyes, but at a different stage of your life.







ANYWAY. I arrived in Paris last Tuesday, so I've been here about 9 days. I'm living just west of the actual city of Paris in a town called Neuilly-Sur-Seine. Even though I'm not *technically* in Paris proper, I'm so close I might as well be! It only takes me about fifteen minutes to walk to the Arc de Triomphe, which is at the end of the famed Champs Elysées. From there, the entire city is at my fingertips! Every morning, when I walk to the train, I can see the top portion of the Eiffel Tower in the distance. It's absolutely unreal. Sometimes I feel like I'm floating in a dream, like this can't possibly be real life. But it is and I'm here and it's amazing!









So. Neuilly. It's a really lovely town, and pretty much an extension of Paris. The buildings are all that beautiful, old, classically French architecture. You know, the kind you see in those mass produced prints that you can buy at HomeGoods and Target. Except here, it isn't mass produced, and it's real life! This town has some hustle and bustle, but still feels homey and suburban, to an extent. There are kids rolling along on their skateboards or scooters up and down the sidewalks, lots of little shops selling houseplants or antiques or produce, and plenty of cafes and restaurants. One thing is for sure: the people here have money. You can feel it just walking down the streets and looking up at the residential buildings. Then you see the massive, beautiful schools and there's no doubt. Plus, any time I tell anyone where I'm living, the first thing they always say is "Wow, you're so lucky! That's where the rich people live!" It's true, I do feel very lucky to be here!







A lot of people ask me if the program is providing our housing. Unfortunately not, so we are each responsible for finding our own accommodations for the year. Again, I definitely lucked out. I found my housing before even arriving in Paris, which I suppose is pretty uncommon. I have an arrangement with a family here in Neuilly, where I am essentially nannying for them in exchange for my apartment, which is just three floors above theirs! It's a tiny little studio, but it's so charming and has everything I need, along with a stellar view! I recently found out that these small spaces on the top floors of buildings like this were probably maids' quarters way back when the buildings were constructed. Mine does have it's own bathroom and a little kitchen, complete with a small fridge, microwave and hotplate. It's super simple, but I absolutely love it!







The family is just wonderful. The two parents and three children are all so kind and very welcoming! In the afternoons, I go and pick the youngest one up from school, help her with her homework, and accompany her to her theatre and dance classes (a girl after my own heart!). I speak English with them, so that they can practice and improve their speaking skills. Sometimes I have meals with all of them, which is always a treat! While I am so happy to become a sort of part of the family, it's really nice to be able to have my own space, as well. I had host families when I was an exchange student, and at 26 years old, I am so glad to be able to be autonomous while living in Paris!







Sometimes I really can't believe I'm here. I am so happy to be in Paris, living out this crazy dream. I've fallen in love with this city a couple times before, and I have a feeling I'm about to do it all over again. I am so grateful God brought me here and has had my back as I adjust and settle in. He really is so good! Well, I have so much more to tell you all and I will be writing again soon! Have you lived abroad before? How did it feel at first?

An Artist's Lament

A little over six months ago, I bared my soul to you all and told you some really personal stuff about my journey up until that point, after which vowing to myself and this endless internet that I was going to get back into blogging. Obviously that hasn't exactly shaped up the way I'd planned! I have been pretty absent from the internet, and even my social media has taken a serious backseat since I finished my 100 Happy Days challenge. I've given this a lot of thought as to why. I definitely *want* to get back into the blogosphere, and I think social media can be a really awesome outlet, especially for artists to get inspired and connect with one another. So why do I find myself having a really hard time opening up this laptop, putting my fingers to the keys and actually recording my thoughts?



I have a long history of blogging, on and off, and other creative outlets. When I lived abroad, I blogged almost every single day for those eleven months. Even on the days where I didn't have much to report, I'd still sit there 10 minutes before bed and write down the couple of thoughts that were ricocheting off the sides of my skull. That habit was really important to me! Not only was I documenting the greatest experience of my life, but it was also therapeutic to catalog my thoughts, get them out, and see them from another perspective. That was probably one of the most creative stints of my life, as I've mentioned before. I created some really beautiful artwork, wrote surprisingly profound poems, and even found myself choreographing more than ever before or since.

The truth is, for the last six months, I've barely touched any of my creative outlets. Blogging, painting, drawing, writing, even dancing have all been very difficult for me. The question remains, though, why? And *that* in and of itself has taken up a lot of my brain space. It's really hard to be an innately creative person, an artist, and actually have no desire to create and put new things out into the world.



The flip side of creating is that, while you're putting new things out there, they're actually little parts of you. Sometimes it's really difficult to put those really internal, sacred parts of you on display. Sure, people may not realize that's what's happening, but you know in your heart that that sentence you wrote, or that flower you painted, or that photo you posted, it represents a deep part of your soul. That's a really vulnerable feeling! When you're not necessarily in the best state of mind, or not entirely proud of where you are in life, it can become crippling. The only thing you know, creation, is somehow now impossible for you.

I realize that may sound unnecessarily deep or dramatic, even, but it's truly a form of exposure to share your creativity. It's letting people into your life in a way that maybe doesn't always feel good, because it's so raw. Art is raw, in all its forms. I do believe that, because true art comes from inside. Even my swirly little letters, I make them with intention and purpose, so they hold a piece of me. If my calligraphy is that personal, imagine how I must feel about my actual thoughts and feelings!



I find myself in a weird place right now, but I think if I can get myself back on the path of creating, I can process this weird place and all the feels that come along with it. This blog has proven to be such an outlet in the past, and I want it to be that again. Even if it's just full of pretty dresses and frilly letters for now! Please know that everything you see here is a reflection of me. I'm reminding you all, and myself, that it is powerful to show yourself to the world. Let's all help each other be brave in that way. Have the courage to be vulnerable, and embrace your power. It is the best thing you have to offer.

How do you share yourself with others? What have you been hesitant to share lately? I'm here to support you as you support me :)

Inspiration // Positivity

I really believe that we have the power to change our own lives. I also believe that if you want your life to change, you're the only one that can do it. It has been a difficult week. There have been ups and downs and twists and turns and this one week has felt like an entire year. Let's just say I'm glad it's over.

Even though nothing particularly catastrophic happened in my life this week, I have been particularly thoughtful. Mostly about how I spend my time and how I can make myself better, in what I do but also as a person. I have these thoughts often, especially as I'm approaching the end of my undergraduate education and thinking more seriously about moving and getting started with the next phase of my life. Every time, I come back to the same goal: stay positive.

Everything in life comes down to attitude. You can be the most talented, most skilled, most intelligent person on the planet, but if you have a poor attitude, that's what will come back to bite you in the end. I've been finding myself struggling to keep up the positivity the past few days, but I know that it is best that I continue to fight for it. It is an extremely important part of my life and my success. Positivity has the power to change you, and only you have the power to be positive. Really, YOU have the power to change YOU. So, if there's something in your life that you're unhappy about, you can change it. You just have to be willing to commit to making that change.

Life is fluid. It changes from day to day. I've been striving for positivity for a long time, most of the time with success! But, if we're all honest with ourselves, we all fall down. Sometimes it's not about making huge, permanent changes. Sometimes it's just about the little tweaks here and there to make our lives a little bit better every day.

I think I'm ready to make some changes. I'm ready, once again, to get back up and get positive. What about you?

Babies and Bubbles

A few years ago, two wonderful children came into our family. Charlie and Lilly are my beautiful little baby cousins. Up until Charlie was born, almost 4 years ago (time goes so fast), all of the cousins of the family were roughly the same age. We all played together throughout our childhood and grew up together. So when Charlie came along, we were all so excited to have a baby in the family again! Just a couple of short years after that, Lillian was born and all of the sudden we had TWO adorable little peanuts to love!





Yesterday, one of my older cousins had a little going-away party before she leaves for college (seriously, where has the time gone??), and after dinner we went outside with the kids. The bubbles came out and before long, so did my camera! Charlie wasn't so interested in the bubbles, but he did sneeze in the aunt's face, so that was a great moment. Lilly definitely was all about the bubbles. Watching her run after them and try to figure out how to blow bubbles herself was such a treat. And in that adorable tiny pink dress? Who wouldn't love that?





These kids just melt my heart. They are so precious and beautiful and we give them so much love. I think everyone in the family is simply obsessed with them! They are such happy children and I can't wait to see them grow up into beautiful, happy people, just like their parents.

Are there any special little ones in your life?

Life Lately

Guys, it's been nuts around here over the last week or so. Life has just been a whole bunch of crazy! It's a good crazy, though. I would really rather be busy than not. Between school, work, all my extracurriculars, and starting our show, there has been a lot going on.





I suppose I should elaborate on those things. We're about a month into school, and so far I've really been enjoying it! I'm totally overloaded on classes this semester but rather than feeling overwhelmed, I feel like I'm actually learning things, which is a wonderful feeling. I'm a talent scholarship student this year, so I also have a few more responsibilities than I did last year. I have more service hours that I have to complete and a community service project to think about. I'm also on the dance company this year. So much to do!





I've also been working at Catan Fashions, which is a bridal salon. I've been there for about a month now, and I really enjoy my job! It's so fun to work with brides and help them find their dream dress for their wedding. I love being around the dresses and getting to talk and think fashion for a while on my weekends. Plus, I like getting paid. It's kind of like Say Yes to the Dress, but in real life.

Now for the big news: We're starting our rehearsals for our musical, "Cabaret", today! I am so incredibly excited for this, I can't believe I haven't blown up my blog with updates. We went through our entire audition process two weeks ago and I was in hell waiting for the cast list to be posted. It all paid off, though, because I was cast as Sally Bowles! For those of you who aren't familiar with the show, that's the lead... We have our first read-through tonight and I cannot wait to get started!





Otherwise, I've been working on getting really in shape and getting back into healthy eating. Living at home makes that more difficult than when I'm on my own, but I still think I can lose ten pounds by the time we open the show. It's gonna happen! I've also been trying really hard to make more time to take outfit photos, even though that's not always an easy thing to do, and it's going to keep getting harder as we get farther into the rehearsal process. I'll figure out a way to make it work, though! I've also been spending time with my man whenever I can. We actually just celebrated eight months yesterday. I know that isn't really a milestone, but we still had dinner together and made a fire outside. I know, awwwwwww.




dress: forever 21, shirt: H&M, belt: H&M, neckace: sister's, shoes: H&M

A note about this outfit, it's totally a maxi dress with one of my sister's shirts over it. I hadn't realized it until just now, but most of the pieces that I'm wearing are actually from H&M. That nail polish is probably one of my favorite colors I've ever put on my nails, not to mention it lasted well! I think I'll need to invest in a new wide belt soon, though, because that one has gotten a lot of wear. It's my go-to belt. Also, those curls are still left over from when my grandma set my hair, which totally ended up being worth the time and effort because they lasted for about three and a half days and they were so pretty!





Life is pretty great. Things are going well and even though I don't have much time to do other stuff, like read or do random photography or see movies, I am just loving how things are right now. Everything is sort of falling into place, and that makes me feel like I'm in the right place and doing what I'm supposed to do.

What about you? How's life going?